This month I've been running a free Self Care group on Facebook.
Before I continue, please leave what you think you know about self-care at the door... or the last tab you opened.
What I've been building in my group is a way for people to look back at happy, peaceful times of their lives, and re-create the emotional connection to those times... giving them a tiny island in the sea of Today where they can reflect inwardly on what emotional connections they are making, and attempt to get back to a place of peace.
We started with a notebook.
Then we started filling the notebook... write three good things about your favorite person. Write three good things that your favorite person sees in you. Find something beautiful on a Tuesday. Imagine Wednesday as the peak of your mountain... what do you intend to accomplish today? Write a Valentine to yourself. What have you been putting off that you know you really need to do?
Self care is more then just candles and bath bombs. It's about figuring out what you need to make you feel whole, and getting past the shame of "taking time away from life" to live life.
Crazy, right? Why wouldn't you make time for something that makes you feel human?
But we all do it. Every day. We make excuses to live the life we are told to live, rather then live a life we want to live. That can be something as tiny as: "I don't have time to write that poem that I've been thinking about because I have to spend time with my friends." to something as big as "I can't quit my stable job... not in this economy!"
(This is not an endorsement for everyone to quit their jobs, but if you come home after a long day in tears, you might want to consider an alternative.)
In this month's current focus, I have all the books that I've been using for myself and the self care group to shift our thinking away from the cultural/societal norms, and get to the "truth"... that truth being whatever is right for you that doesn't harm anyone else, or yourself. Jen Sincero's "You Are A Badass" I have downloaded as an audio book to my phone, and I listen to it every morning during my one hour commute so that I continue building my own business on my lunch break (which I have been chronicling on my Instagram account, #bossladylunch).
My business is my self care.
My writing is my self care.
Exercising is my self care.
Occasionally, a bath bomb happens too.
So, how are you putting off life in order to live?
Stephanie Cansian is a rebelliously positive Central Jersey citizen with her husband and their dog.