A question for all the fans out there: If Captain America has super serum coursing through him, why does he still go on morning runs? Lift weights? He is basically fit for life, so why bother eating right and exercising? He literally has a free pass.

On the flip side, can you imagine if Superman didn't fly every chance he got? Or if Daredevil didn't bother to canvas his surroundings before fighting an enemy? Or if Batman didn't test all the capabilities of all his gadgets before going out at night?

Steve Rogers doesn't run every morning because he needs to get in or stay in shape. He runs every morning to keep his mind sharp, his discipline strong, his habit unshakable. The bond between his mind and body are so strong that he becomes a force to be reckoned with.

And at 80 years old, when all his friends and loved ones are dead or dying, the discipline that he has cultivated is the only thing he knows he can count on.

What do you have in your life that you know with unshakable certainty that you can count on in a crisis?

If you are just tuning in to my blog, here is the highlight reel for the month of July:

• I drove 88 miles outside of my comfort zone and performed in my first pole dance showcase.
  
• After trying out the Shift Shop, I committed myself 100% to being a Beachbody Coach and completing program. Chris Downing is that good.
• We got a bigger apartment in a new state that we are moving into in two days.
• We went to Florida. 
• I gave my job notice.
• I completed all the goals I set for myself for the month of July.

Since I'm on a roll with this, let's keep the momentum going.

Goals for August:

1. Team Venture, my new free accountability group, is up and running. I had quite a bit of success with the last few I did that I decided to start a year round group. If you need a win in your life, and some people to cheer you on, you should join us. My goal is to get at least 50 members by the end of the month!
2. Move to a new state.
3. Update my website to reflect the new path my life is taking.

I have just enough time to workout before work. Time to get moving.

"Far too many women burn out trying to do too much before they're ready."
"So you can have it all?"
"Of course. Just not all at once, and not right away."
(Thanks to Forever Dreaming Transcripts)

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
What about when life gives you two amazing opportunities at the same time that you were planning a relaxing weekend getaway?
What do you do?

My husband and I have been planning a trip to Florida to see his family. The tickets are bought, rooms are arranged, and we are set to leave for the last few days of July.

Then we were approved for our new condo. Our move-in date? First weekend of August. 

The same day we were approved I was told that Beachbody is offering a challenge; all I have to do is log my Shift Shop workouts, my shakes, and take some pictures of myself. Grand prize? $1,000 Start date?  July 24th, 2017.

​I could have said no to the challenge. I could have said that I have too much going on in my life to start a new workout program. But I didn't.
​
Because what I plan to throw at life is more important then what life throws at me.

I have already packed some provisions for the trip to Florida, and my Beachbody on Demand workouts are loaded on to my phone.

I have already mapped out space in our new condo where all our exercise equipment can go. As soon as we unload the truck I can move into my workout space and pick up where I left off.

When is the last time you chose to rearrange some major life events so that you could accomplish a goal, or complete a challenge? That choice is a powerful one... your goal means something.

In order for me to have a chance of winning, I have to document my progress every step of the way. And because my goals are bigger then my obstacles...#stephfindsaway

This is going to be a crazy three weeks.

Imagine this: you and your best friend are hanging out, watching Netflix and you both get the munchies. You go to raid their kitchen, and find the bag of Shakeology out on the counter.

“What’s this?”
​“Oh! That’s my superfood shake!  It’s really good!  You want to try it?”

Your mind reels… your best friend, your partner in crime, the person who was scarfing Potatchos with you just a few months ago is now… a Beachbody Coach?

You’ve seen the sweaty selfies. You must know at least two or three Beachbody coaches on your Friends list. The happy faces with their huge cups of “Superfoods”... it’s a meal shake, right? You remember your Mom drinking Slim Fast (a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, and then a sensible dinner), and how those cans smelled.

“No thanks… Got any chips?”
You see their face fall… you know you just disappointed them, but… really? It’s all the same stuff anyway.

Having your best friend become a Beachbody Coach is a big challenge for any friendship. Here are five easy things your can do to encourage your friend’s new venture without risking your lifestyle.

1. Ask them about their workouts. As a new Beachbody Coach, they have access to every single exercise program ever put out by Beachbody… On Demand; downloaded to their phone, on their streaming device, or on the website. They are probably going to be overwhelmed and overexcited. By focusing their attention on one program, it will keep them focused and let chatty about all the amazing programs you could try too (if you wanted too).
2. Do not laugh at their shakes. Shakeology is the lifeblood of Beachbody Coaches. It is packed with proteins, carbs, vitamins, minerals, and tastes like a Carnation Instant Breakfast (so they say). Your friend will probably start experimenting with different shake mix-ins; peanut butter, banana, cinnamon, and almond milk are the usual gateway ingredients to things like apples, yogurt, and baby spinach. The upside? Drinking this shake is literally all the nutrients they need in a day, so by waiting a few hours and then asking about getting some normal food, they’ll be right there with you.
3. Don’t get jealous.  Being a Beachbody Coach has a lot to do with joining the Coaching Community. Your friend’s coach will introduce them to their “Mama Group”, the group that got your friend’s coach into the mix. Some groups have thousands of coaches all sharing tips, trade secrets, words of encouragement for workouts, and recipes. If your friend starts talking about these people, just remind them that you haven’t met them. This leads us to our next tip…
4. Expect to be invited. Beachbody Coaches love their shakes, their workouts, and their fellow coaches. They always want to bring more people in to the experience. Expect to be invited to Shakeology Meet Ups, Super Saturdays, Free Challenge Groups, and Live Workouts. Pick and choose what you want to attend. And finally…
5. Count On Change. Beachbody is a growing community for a reason. People who decide to change their lives with Beachbody have an incredible success rate of doing so. If your friend has started with the shakes, the workouts, the groups, and wants to get you involved, then there is something that they want to change about themselves, and they are serious about it.

Beachbody is not cheap… it’s an investment. Expect your friend to have less time for binge watching, less inclination to eat fast food, and become more conscious of their time and energy. They are still your friend, but they are going through a metamorphosis that they think they need to lead a happier life. Accept this about them, and be the outside voice of encouragement they might need. Your friendship will survive... and may even be better then what is was before. 

All throughout school we are taught that if you have goals you can achieve them. That if you work smart and work hard, that anything is within your reach. 

What they never taught us was about time.

Sure, we are taught patience, and how it's a virtue. And we are taught about seizing the moment and not letting opportunities slip by; both of which are key to making, attaining, and beating goals; but there is this whole planning portion that was never really discussed. The exact "how" to create SMART goals (something I only learned in college because I was getting a business degree).

I am going to say something right now that most people are going to flinch at because as soon as I say it, the words "excuse" and "failure" and lazy" are going to float through your head. Are you ready?

Goals can change.

Last month, I set out with my goal list fully intent on having another month of goal setting and goal attaining.
Then my goals changed. Not the long term ones; the five-year, ten-year, twenty-year plans... those are the ones that should be steadfast throughout the whole process... but the monthly ones. I had a month to find a job in PA or my husband and I were scraping the idea of moving.

I had been job searching for months with no results. No interviews, few if any person-to-person interactions, and I was starting to feel incredibly down on myself, my abilities, and my educational choices. On top of all that, I realized I a had a month left before my I danced in front of an audience and didn't feel prepared at all! I had goals for my performance and I was not hitting them fast enough.
Plus, I had my goals for June... getting clients, saving money, reading four books... none of which were really going anywhere because I was so distracted by the other upcoming deadlines!

I had to change my goals or run the risk of not meeting any of them.

The new June Goals:

1. Find a job in PA by July 1st.
2. Get my routine for the showcase choreographed with at least one really cool trick by July 2nd.
3. Stick to the new food budget; 10% of income only.

With the new goals and deadlines, I threw myself into the job search as much as I could. Five applications, cover letters, and resume tweaks a week, pouring through LinkedIn job posting, asking friends who were happy at their jobs for referrals. I dug into every network I knew to find my next long term position.

At night I threw myself into my dance class, going three or four times per week. Not shying away from anything that could make me better or stronger for my routine.

And food, usually what I turn too when I am stressed out, now became this game of "find the deals". I used a combination of iBotta, Stop 'N Shop and Target coupons, monthly allowances for coffee at Wawa, Starbucks, and Dunkin' Donuts, and being a Beachbody Coach also saved us a good chunk of change on our two monthly bags of Shakeology. 

The results?

1. In the last week of June an opportunity presented itself; the perfect opportunity.  A brand new company, a brand new team of relationship driven smarties, and in the exact geographic area I needed to hit. I hear back from them within the next 72 hours, and I am so freaking excited I have already started prepping for the move. Do I have the job? Not confirmed. Do we have a place to live? No, but we know what we are looking for. I am so confident that this is it, that this is the job I was meant for right now, that I am already planning how to lay the groundwork for tight-knit team of goal getters. (This is a tactic from Jen Sincero's book You Are A Badass... an awesome read for when you need a pick-me-up in life)
2. In my last post I describe the overwhelming thankfulness, joy, and pride I felt performing at my first showcase. I am not going to reiterate it here, just go and give it a read if you are interested.
3. We didn't hit 10%, but we did hit 18%... which is progress from the 25%-30% we were doing before.

Now we are a solid week into July, the holiday is over, and it's time to set some new goals. Remember, those long term goals don't change... the short term goals to get there might.
 
Goals for July:

1. Be ready to move to PA on Aug 1st.
   • KonMarie the heck out of everything as we pack it. I want to be able to let go of at least half our stuff before we move.
2. 15% income food budget. I can get there with iBotta, coupons, food prep on Sundays, a Shake a day, and cutting my coffee addition back.
3. Complete the Shift Shop, Beachbody's new exercise program that debuts on July 16th. I have really let the workouts go because I have been so focused on the showcase, but I need some HIIT back in my life. Who wants to join Squirtle and me in some really fun agility training? Drop a comment or email me!

As always, I will look back on the post everyday to remind myself of my goals. It is too easy to get distracted by life, Facebook, the news... staying on track is half the battle of getting what you want. 

And I am going to end every one of these goal posts (because they are definitely sticking around) with my favorite quote from Supergirl:

"Far too many women burn out trying to do too much before they're ready."
"So you can have it all?"
"Of course. Just not all at once, and not right away."
(Thanks to Forever Dreaming Transcripts)

Last night was the 2017 Dakini Movement Showcase at Roxy and Duke's. It was the first time the showcase was outside the studio, the first time it was free, and it was my first showcase... no pressure, right?

I was worried. Not about my 40/60 routine (40% choreographed, 60% wing-it), and not about getting stage fright. I was worried that the audience, my audience for the 3 minutes and 20 seconds I was up there would not get what I was trying to do.

Pole Dancing has a stigma. It is a style of dance that started among sex workers as a new way of enticing and exciting their clientele. 

(Yes, I know that Mallakamba is a Indian Pole acrobatic spot, but the intent is vastly different)

When I tell people I pole dance, I immediately get the eyebrow raise... and I'm very aware of the multitude of questions that probably run through the person's mind...
"You don't look like a stripper/sex worker..."
"But you're educated!"
"What does your husband think?"
etc. etc. etc.

However, pole dance is also dance. It's expression, it's movement, it's a work out, it's really fucking fun, and it's helped me over come body dysmorphia, self-esteem issues, and self-limiting beliefs.

When I got up on stage last night, I wanted to express the other side of pole. The side that could tell a story, that could express emotion, that anybody and any body could do. A simple, elegant, sweet story of a girl who's found the love of her life.

I did my dance, I had an amazing time. I heard the cheers from the audience, and I thought I must have looked pretty good.

Afterwards, as I was looking for my husband in the audience (see? story telling from experience), I had some girls come up to me and rave about my performance. They wanted to know where I got my outfit (plus size pole fashion is *hard*), and they told me about what they saw in my dance; Peter Pan and Disney Princesses.

That's when I knew that my message was received. People *got it*.

Pole dance is fluid. It can be savagely sexy, it can be empowering and athletic, it can be high-energy fun, or it can be soft and sweet. Like all things in life, what you want out of it depends on what you put into it.

I am so proud by how far I've come in my three years at the studio, that my fear of not being understood was unfounded. This was akin to my first open reading at a Poetry Festival, and realizing that I had some talent with words.

The other girls who performed were uniquely amazing; each had their own style, their own bag of tricks, their own message to convey about what pole dancing meant to them. It was a cornucopia of talent, and I could not be more proud to be part of this community. 

There is nothing like the thrill of being so completely understood.

It's really amazing how one small change can lead to so many big things. And how that one big thing can seem so daunting until it's broken down into several small changes.

At the end of last month, I laid out my goals for May. I swore that I would come back to that post every day and read it morning and night.

Well, I did. I made that one small change in my routine. And here's what happened:

1. I paid off one bill. It wasn't the bill I had initially set out to pay, but it was a surprise that I was ready for when it happened.
2. Because I was so focused on paying that one bill, I finally got our savings account equal to about 1 month's rent. Not a goal that I had listed, but something that a) bothered me before and b) was now on track to do... monthly? Really?
3. I did not get one client per week. I got one client for both Beachbody and Say It Simply. But they are long term clients and I am incredibly thankful to have them on board.
4. I meal prepped and food planned on Sunday. It was a great system that I will fully enforce next month as well.
5. Dedicate one hour per day to me... this did not go so well. If you look back, I had a bit of a break down mid-month. For a couple weeks I cleared my schedule of everything except for the absolute biggest money earning/able to live as a human obligations that I could. This included dance class, cooking during the week, cleaning up the apartment, anything that did not directly relate to me being alive. What I learned from this was: a re-discovered love of writing, and needing to get in shape mentally. I've been so focused for so long on the physical; my weight, my environment, and the food that I ate, that I had been completely neglecting my mental well being. I need both.

This brings me to June's Goals. Since the act of writing them down last month worked so well, I'm going to do it again.

1. Finish the short story I've been writing.
2. Pay One Bill.
3. Get one more Beachbody Client and Say It Simply client.

I will come back to this list and read it every day. I will cement these goals in my mind for another month. 
Do you want to try with me? List your three goals below... what do you want to achieve in 30 days?

 

This week I did an experiment on myself.

The issue was this: I had a routine. And this routine allowed me all the time to do what I needed to do for the day-to-day, with no time to do what I really wanted to do so I could live my fullest life.
(If you've been reading my blogs, you'll know I've started my own business, and I've been an active Beachbody coach. If you haven't, then hello! Thank you for reading so far!)

So, let's paint a picture. It's Monday morning. I'm fighting traffic in my car on my one hour commute to work. I have a 12 oz Wawa coffee and a breakfast sandwich which I will eat when I get to the office. If you were to glance in my car, and I'm sure someone did because traffic is boring, you would have seen me; red faced, tears pouring down my face, in my business causal finery, imagining that I'm talking to G-d or Universal Intelligence or some other consciousness (because the idea of yelling at no one in an empty car makes me fear for my own sanity), and screaming,

"I've done everything I'm supposed to do and I'm not getting ahead, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO ANYMORE."

As I sat in my car, in the silent aftermath of my outburst, the thought hit me: cancel everything.
I cancelled my dance class, I cancelled my yoga, I cancelled any ideas I had of cooking during the week. I cancelled any additional workout plans I had (which opened up an entirely different mental kettle of fish, but that's for another blog).
I cancelled everything except for my job. In essence, I took a vacation from my routine.
Now, suddenly, I had all this free time... to do my best work.
I know what that phrase means to me. It means writing that story that's been brewing in my head for weeks. It means writing that proposal for a biography for my father. It means working on client pieces for Say It Simply, and finding Beachbody clients. All things I actually enjoy doing that also have the potential to make money.
And after one day, I found myself in another, happier routine.
• • •
In every self help and wealth generation book I've read, the underlying message is to be true to yourself, learn your true purpose, and have no fear to go after it. As my cousin told me, "Get over the shame of creating your art and making that time for yourself."
• • •
What would happen if you cancelled everything you felt you "had to do" except for the one thing that is actually paying your bills. What would you do with your time? Comment below by filling in the blanks: "I'd cancel ______ to do _____ instead." Be honest (but not rude).

Today marks the fourth year since my grandmother passed away.
I look like her... a lot like her. So does my cousin. Between the two of us there was no doubt that she existed on this earth.

But there's more then just genetics.

My grandmother was the matriarch of our family. She outlived my grandfather by 25 years, continued working, and kept all sides of the family in touch. Her one brother had six children and I have more cousins then I can count... my grandmother knew and loved them all. My cousin knows them all better then I do; and if you are one of said cousins reading this, I'm sorry. The family tree branches get all twisted up in my head.
I digress... it's more then just genetics.

My grandmother was accepted into the University of Chicago at age 16. She taught chemistry there while working on her Master's degree... which she achieved by age 20.
After getting married, moving to New Jersey, and having a family, she went back to school, got another degree in computer science, and landed a job as a project manager at CSC. 
The software she wrote as a project manager is still used by United Stated Air Traffic Control System.
Literally every time a plane lifts off and lands safely it's because of something she wrote.
In her early 50s she was diagnosed with breast cancer... and BEAT it.
My grandmother has some big shoes to fill, and I tell myself that if I "grow up" to be even half the woman she was I'd be proud.

But she wouldn't.

She would want me to surpass her, do better then she did in all areas. She would want me, and the rest of the grandkids and cousins, to live the happiest and most fulfilling lives that we can make for ourselves; to never settle for what we think is, or are told is, expected of us at the time.

Every day, for the last four years, I've looked in the mirror and seen my grandmother. Maybe it's time I finally started acting like her too.

Overwhelm is a killer.
It's something that I have been dealing with recently; at my job, in my home, in my own business. Everything just feels overwhelming. I know that I am overworked and underpaid. I know that I am making progress on my business, but it is slow going, and there are always bills that need to be paid. My husband and I are so busy trying to make our lives work together, that we barely have time to be a married couple. We've become a running joke amongst our friends because we simply don't have time to Netflix and anything.

Overwhelm is anxiety inducing and destructive.

In Jen Sincero's book, "You Are A Badass" she says the only way to combat overwhelm is to break it down. Tackle it piece by piece. If you are use to seeing the big picture, focus on the pixels.

In May, my four goals are all going to deal with tackling this overwhelm:

1. Pay off one bill. It doesn't matter if it's the biggest or the smallest. Pay it off. How much do I need each week in order for it to be gone?
2. Get one client per week for Beachbody and Say It Simply. If I can manage to create repeat clients, great! If not, I'll try again next month.
3. Food budget and Sunday Meal Prep. This is the one and only thing that must get done every Sunday. 
4. At least one hour per day must be dedicated to me... 30 min of exercise and 30 min of mindfulness and personal development. I've been slipping on that and it's showing in my attitude.

One last thing: I pledge to come back to this post and read it everyday. First thing in the morning, and last thing at night; reminding myself of what my goals are and what I need to do to reach them.

If you are with me in tackling your own overwhelm leave a comment below. May we all see our goals come to fruition by this time next month.